Washington under siege from Somalian terrorists, amidst poor police conduct
WASHINGTON DC, USA - Within the past few weeks, the Metropolitan Police Department has been composed of generally untrained replacement officers. The MPD has caused a multitude of predicaments with various departments such as the Secret Service, and the United States Armed Forces. One of the witnesses stated, "Our lone law enforcement department has hammered the last nail in its coffin with the events that took place earlier [last night]."
To start off this auspiciously infamous chain of events, Officer Ethanp8elk falsely arrested Secretary of State and former Vice President DrReli. Secretary DrReli was escorted out of the Metropolitan Police Station in a fit of rage to the Supreme Court building, where he would stand on trial for his non-existent infractions of the law. Ethan's arrest report stated that DrReli "shot a civilian", however no witnesses nor evidence was provided to support these allegations. On top of this, Miranda Rights were not read to DrReli during his arrest, making the arrest even more inexcusably invalid, and painfully unprofessional.
Chief Justice Cbooty stepped in to preside over the trial in the absence of active federal judges. The trial was dismissed due to a lack of evidence before the trial even convened. DrReli was released from his detainment around fifteen minutes after being arrested. Ethan, overtaken by rage, began to question Chief Justice Cbooty on his decision as civilians were herded out of the building.
Arguably, the most significant incident occurred after the "courtroom drama". During their departure from the Supreme Court building, Chief Justice Cbooty, Secretary of Homeland Security SpietatoRomano, and Secretary of State DrReli were under siege by a flurry of gunfire from multiple hostiles. The hostiles were later identified as German Minister of Media MichaelStults and AbminekSomalia, equipped with AK-47s. Luckily, Cbooty being a Colonel in the United States Army, he began to fire upon the hostiles, deterring one and neutralizing the other. Secretary Romano proceeded to exterminate the remainder. Secretary Reli suffered minor wounds and managed to flee the scene.
Meanwhile, citizens scattering in panic sought refuge with Metropolitan Police Officer PsychoticRebel. Little did they know, Psychotic would soon reveal his true colors by arresting and executing innocent citizens. Another partner was identified to be "GhettoProphet". Homeland Security personnel, investigating this case further, have determined that the attacks were carried out by Somalian high ranks. This was later confirmed by confessions from MichaelStults and PsychoticRebel. Chief Justice Cbooty published an arrest warrant for each of the hostiles soon after the attacks commenced, stating that each individual terrorist was to be arrested on sight with "extreme hostility".
Further investigations into each suspect have determined that the majority of the hostiles are a Somalian high rank. GhettoProphet is the current president of Somalia, PsychoticRebel is the Chief of the Somalian Army, AbminekSomalia is a member of the council of ministers. MichaelStults however, is simply a Somalian citizen.
The Somalian terrorists wreaked havoc on the District of Columbia for hours, due to the untrained Metropolitan Police Officers being unable to fend off the hostiles. Law enforcement failed to adequately inform the United States Armed Forces, who were renowned for locking down the Pentagon in under a minute and defending the Supreme Court building in an earlier and unrelated incident. PsychoticRebel proceeded to arrest each and every MPD officer until the entire server was bereft of law enforcement.
In light of these recent events, Vice President Jack Rockwell's Press Secretary, PiperEwing, drafted a "MPD Reform" bill, which removed each high rank from their positions. PiperEwing has been one of the many citizens to take action against this failing law enforcement department. The President has yet to give his statement on the matter, and how it will affect relations with Somalia and other middle eastern countries - which has always been a pressing concern for the United States of America.
POLITICO White House (updated 10:00 AM, 2015/1/24)
